Everybody is just going to piss me off today. It’s not the day to be around people.
I know I do. I now cry whenever i make anything lower than a 90 on an exam, i cry when i make one mistake and I take things so personally when i mess up.
Thank goodness it’s not all the time. Most os the time I can just laugh it off and call it a day but lately every little mistake or criticism has made me cry at night. I try not to let anyone see it BECAUSE I know it’s silly but here is the thing.
I’m constantly being told that I”m not expected to be perfect and that mistakes will happen and that it’s okay but then when I DO make a mistake, I’m punished for it and so is everyone else in the team or group I’m in and that irritates me. It irritates me so much that I have to go to the bathroom and cry. I don’t understand why they would tell me it’s okay to make mistakes and then expect perfection.
That in turn only makes it not okay for me to make mistakes and even though I can carry on and continue my job, it’s slowly eating away at me. It’s a fucking lie when they tell me it’s okay to make mistakes because obviously it’s not. I AM expected to be perfect at all times. Don’t fucking tell me I’m not and then rub it in my face in front of everyone when I do something wrong and don’t be a fucking asshole about it.
OR AT THE VERY LEAST LET ME CRY ABOUT IT. LET ME LET IT OUT. DON’T TELL ME TO NOT CRY OVER THE LITTLE THINGS BECAUSE IT’S BEEN PROVEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAN THE LITTLE THINGS MATTER.
I just want to be left alone when it happens so I can get over myself. let me have that moment. It takes about as long for me to try about it as it takes me to poop. that’s it. give me that. please.